The marriage relationship can be much like a feeding frenzy...what do I mean?
We often use it to "feed" on others to satisfy our emotional needs. We are insecure, so we use the other by being jealous, always on alert to find ways to prove that the other person is straying. We are inwardly agitated and say the other person is the cause of it. We are discontent and are sure it is the fault of the other person. We aren't happy and say if he/she would just do this or that, we would be happy. We are greedy and blame the other person that they don't provide enough for us. We don't value ourselves and then blame our partner for not paying enough attention to us. No one listened to us as a child and our constant complain is that he/she never listens to us. And on and on it goes...
We lust after all these lesser gods and then blame the partner for our lack. We mistakenly think that if they would change our inner needs would be met. Friends--no one can fix your inner needs but you and God. You can't change an inner chamber by redecorating or moving furniture around. It just won't work. All that will be accomplished is a growing distance and frustration in the relationship. Gods can meet inner needs, sometimes a very inward healing needs to take place in the very depths of our soul. This may take time, it may take counseling and much prayer--but please don't stress the marriage relationship to fracture point--whoever owns the problem is the one to fix it. What are waiting for? You can be the person God made you to be and enjoy the fruits of your first loves.